爱玲的星空～AnG3L

对上一次吸烟，我几乎都忘了是什么时候。。。不知道从何时开始，在我心情低落的时候，我习惯了吸烟，来满足我心灵上的空虚。而今晚也不例外，我又吸烟了。我以为，我不会再有吸烟的机会，只因为我觉得我会是快乐的。 原来我错了，我并不是自己想象中的那么快乐。。。我真的不能够再自欺欺人，我根本就没有释怀过。。。我是在为爱忍辱吗？我真的曾经努力的学习宽恕， 原谅那错误。。但是心底下，我是脆弱，是在意的。朋友们给的意见，我是绝对同意的。只是我不想这是一个事实。心真的好疼。。难道就要把爱败给了时间？死在半途吗？？经过了那么多的考验，难道要回到原点吗？我真的累了。。。主耶稣，如果您是存在的，可否教我应该如何去面对他？

i fall into dilemma...i dont know what should i do?? should i pretend to forget it?or should i say i forgive it?? i dont understand, in a way that why u lie to me? or should i say u lying to yourself?? if what u told me is truth, she didnt stay in ur heart anymore, why should u insist to keep those things? whenever i recall back that FB msg...just like today, my heart is bleeding....u said that's a promise that u had make to her. do u know how envy am i? because u do remember what u had say to her and u deliver it eventhough its about a year ago...bleeding,i even feel hurt when u told me that u will throw it away when then time i marry to u!! what a ridiculous point??! is it really hard for u? im very scared, scare u wont deliver what u had promise to me....just like u promise me that u will throw it away before my birthday...however, i dare not to remind u on this, as i want u to do it from the bottom of your heart. i dont know how much that u love her before, but im sure that she